Unhelpful Thinking Styles are styles of thinking that almost everybody has done and they are a perfectly normal way of our mind attempting to make sense of a situation. Unfortunately, they become a problem when they start to become our “go to” or our most frequent way of thinking. This often happens when we are feeling particularly anxious or low in mood.

Why are they unhelpful? Well, the reason is that they are most often not true!!! They are “thoughts” not facts however our brains often struggle to distinguish them which often can lead to emotional distress such as anxiety and unhelpful behaviour such as arguing with a friend or withdrawing from society and spending more time alone.

Examples of Common Unhelpful Thinking Styles

Catastrophising

An example may be making a mistake at work. You may think “I’ve made a mistake; this then progresses to “I’m going to get in trouble” which rapidly escalates to “I’m going to lose my job” which often leads to the behaviour of looking for new jobs when often this is not needed.

Mind Reading

This one is when we assume what someone is thinking about us, but the reality is unless we have psychic powers, we do not know, and this is just how we are thinking about the situation.

An example, someone worried about the shirt they are wearing notices their friend looking down at their shirt. “I knew I shouldn’t have worn this” “They think I look stupid” “They are going to go home and laugh at me.” This may then lead to behaviours such as going home or leaving the social engagement which may lead to feelings of loneliness and social isolation.

Black and White thinking

Often also called “all or nothing thinking.” This thinking style is very rigid in the sense that things are either good or bad, we have “passed” or “failed” in our expectations and they do not allow for all of the areas of “grey” in between.

An example of this may come about after a job interview where they struggled to answer a question.

“It was a complete failure” There’s no way I will get the job now” “What a disaster.” In this example the person is not acknowledging the questions that they answered perfectly fine and has no idea how other candidates may have answered the same question.

Emotional Reasoning

This is where we rely to much on our feelings. For example, someone may wake up feeling anxious. This may confirm to them that today is going to be a “bad” day so “it’s better if I stay in bed”. In this example our feelings have led our behaviour but unfortunately we have to lead by our actions when attempting to relieve ourselves of low mood or anxiety so therefore this thinking style can be counterintuitive.

Should and Must

This is closely related to the trait of perfectionism. “I should have been able to do all the tasks on my list.” “I must pass this exam.” While it can be reasonable to expect high standards from ourselves, if we are applying too much internal pressure, then ultimately, we are likely to negatively affect the way we feel when we are inevitably not “perfect” on occasions. This may also lead to thoughts of “failing” or “not good enough” which can lead to symptoms of depression and low self-esteem.

Next week stay tuned as we will look at how to tackle these!!!